Blake,
As the parent of a 15 year old boy with ADHD and Tourette’s Syndrome (very mild tics), I wish I could get inside his head to figure out what and how he thinks on a daily basis. Having been diagnosed a year ago he is still in denial, doesn’t think medication helps, has daily troubles at school, is irratable and rude and we are at a loss on how to help him until he wants to help himself. I would love to have him read your book hoping that he could relate to someone having gone through similar issues. Do you think even if he reads the book he is at an age to actually accept what you’ve written and maybe consider using some of the ways you suggest to deal with day to day struggles? He’s a smart kid and it kills me to not be able to get through to him to try and help himself.
I think its great you wrote a book on this topic. I hope it does well.
Thank you, Donna

I love that guy is a stud. Rock on man.

I have a son who is 8yrs old and has been diagnosed with ADHD. He has had difficulties similar to those described here - getting in trouble, having problems controlling his impulses. I finally decided to put him on medication hoping to enable him to succeed at school. He is an “A” student, but lacks friends due to his immaturity. I hope to find a copy of this book to help me with my son. He really is a sweet, obedient and faithful boy . . . others just have a harder time seeing that.

Way to go Blake! I am 37 years old single Mother of a six year old named Sam. He has been diagnosed with ADHD in the past year and are on our way to managing his condition. Although Sam hasn’t set the table on fire he has had many adventures in impulsive behavior and hyperactivity.

I’ve been able to understand him more so than the general population since I can remember doing the same sorts of creative and intelligent mis-behaviors (it is an inherited condition). I have gotten a copy of your book and sent it to my Mom since she seems to think that I am selling Sam out by letting the pediatrician and child psychologist help me help him with his ADHD. I can tell you from experience that writing ten thousand punish lines and being punished weeks at a time in my room did nothing to curb those impulsive ideas or speaking a mile a minute in the most unopportune moments.

There is a whole generation of kids that will thank you for giving the rest of the population a window to look through. On behalf of me and Sam I thank you!!

Sincerely,

Dawn E. McCarroll

I’m glad a book has been written from a teen perspective; now get an ADHD girl to do the same! Girls and boys DO NOT share similar ADHD gifts or demons. I think it would be wonderful for either gender to read a peer’s story, however.

I didn’t know I had ADHD until 3 of the doctors working on diagnosing my then 8 year old son said it was clear he got it from me. So, I decided to get tested too, and yes, I am ADHD. As I’ve since learned, I was a fairly typical girl with ADHD- intelligent but apparently not “working to potential” , a little too chatty, but more inclined to get lost in my own little dream world. I was never in trouble but I know I frustrated the crap out of teachers with erractic academic performance.

at 42 I have lived with ADHD all my life, it was very hard in school when no one knew about it and I was female anyway so doubtful they would have figured I had it. My teachers used to make me sit on my hands in class or leave the room entirely and go to the library. I got in tons of trouble in school and was always acting impulsively. I never had any friends and I was often depressed because no one seems to like me and I did not know why. When i got treated as an adult my whole world opened up for me and I graduated with high honors form college and I am now a very successful analyst with the US military. I have two sons with ADHD and my father also had it. I advise parents not to wait if they think thier kids have adhd– get them tested BEFORE they start school. My sons are both gifted btw but it took medical treatment to bring out the talents they had all along but were too distracted to discover on thier own.

Blake,

Thank you for sharing your life of living with ADHD to America. My little brother (11) and sister (7) have ADHD, and I’m looking forward to reading your book so that I can better relate to the lense that they experience life through.

Good luck at Berkeley!
Melissa

People with ADHD have a harder life… !
Im not going to take everything i live for granted!
~HoPeLeSs~

As an adult living with (and having grown up with) ADHD, this is very encouraging. Unfortunately, too much of the literature on ADHD comes from those on the outside, and seeing a book written with an inside perspective on what we go through, especially from someone younger, is very exciting.

Having fought many small battles with ADHD, and finally learning to manage it in my own way, I would like to congratulate Blake on having the courage and foresight to write this. And as someone who lives a succesful and happy life (I’m a federal law enforcement agent), I would like to say that no matter how tough it can be sometimes, life with ADHD can be very rewarding. Although our different way of seeing and doing things can be frustrating in doing some ordinary tasks, it also gives us extraordinary abilities in other areas.

Good luck, and thanks for writing this.

If you notice, most ADHD cases are young boys. I was diagnosed with ADHD, I turned out fine. this gentleman seems to be doing just fine also. It would require attention to write a memoir not to mention study molecular biology. ADHD is way over diagnosed. I’m not saying the people on here don’t have it, but I am saying that it is unlikely.

When a teacher told my mom to put me on medicine my mother took me to a doctor just to see. He diagnosed me with ADHD and my mom laughed and said to both the doctor and teacher “Why, because he’s being a young boy? Young boys run around and play with frogs, it’s what they do. So please excuse my 5 year old son for not sitting quietly sedated while he does his math. As interesting as it might be, he would rather be playing, talking and running around.”

The teacher said something to the effect of “we’ll see how far he gets in life.” Well, here’s an update, which I went back to the school and let the teacher know: I’m 21 years old, I own a house and a car. I’m in my third year of college working towards a bachelors in Electrical Engineering and planning on a doctorate. I have zero debt other than my house and car. I maintain a 3.9 GPA along with working full time, and I have a fiancee with whom I’ve been dating for three years. I have retirement savings not to mention 8 months worth of bills in an emergency savings and I’m paid well ahead on all of my bills. Not too bad for someone diagnosed with ADHD?

I have a couple of friends that were in similar situations. Some took the medicine and became very zombie-like, others didn’t take the medicine. Not everyone came out exactly like me, but that’s the nature of life. Kids just do dumb things sometimes, it’s part of growing and learning. They want to see what happens if… This doesn’t mean they have ADHD, it means they are inquisitive, or they’re not interested on other things going on around them. How often we’ve opressed people for doing things outside of the box.

I rue the day that children are diagnosed with ADHD out of the womb because they can’t do differential equations. If we keep perpetuating this overdiagnosing problem that’s where we’ll end up. Then when we are unable to produce tears because of our chronic dry eye syndrome we can get a prescription for cyclosporine, then after we leave the hospital, to deal with our outdoor allergies we will take some Ceterizine HCI, and before we get into our car we can take some Benzo-diazepines to fight our anxiety about driving, and in order to combat the drowsiness of Benzo-diazepines, we can take some caffeine pills, and so on.

I am 53 and was only finally diagnosed with ADD in recent years. What an eye opener! After dozens of frustrating years as an adult of being diagnosed with a variety of mental health disorders and desperately undergoing treatments that naturally didn’t work because they didn’t address the real problem - I so, so sympathize with children who go undiagnosed correctly and lack the independent resources I had to get the correct diagnosis and treatment. The assault ADD makes on a person’s self-esteem is undescribable and increasingly difficult to reverse as the years march on, especially after so many personal and social failures have accumulated as a result of ADD. There are many useful books written by and for adults with ADD, so I say hooray for this young man with the courage and - for someone with ADD - the amazing focus to finally write such a guidebook for those under 18.

Interestingly enough my 18 yr. old son just wrote an essay on his struggles with ADHD, and his success in managing it without drugs.
I think we could all learn a lot from him as well!

When told that my son would not succeed without drugs, I did my research, and took the time to figure out how to help him learn the skills he would need for life. We insisted on having him assessed for learning disabilities. It turned out he has a processing disorder in language, and a learning disability in reading. By employing behavior modification techniques, having an IEP, a great resource room teacher, and taking the attitude that paying attention is a skill that needs to be practiced, he has succeeded beyond our wildest dreams. You can do it, but you need to be your child’s advocate and do your homework. Don’t just accept the automatic diagnosis, and attitude from the teachers and doctors. I highly recommend Dr. Thomas Armstrong’s book “The Myth of the ADD Child”.

ADHD…what a terrible diagnosis, and by that I mean it should not be made. These kids are overactive there is nothing wrong with that. Why do we medicate everything in this country. If you are just outside what society’s normal is than we feel like we need to change you and typically not by talking about it. Instead we say “here’s a pill…you’ll be more like the rest of us miserable people tomorrow” What a great idea! Let people be themselves. Let people live the lives they want. We don’t want people taking illegal “mind-altering” drugs so why do we prescribe so many legal “mind altering” drugs!

My nephew who is 13 has ADHD and has a real difficult time making friends. Social interactions are difficult and I believe he may be bullied at school. What advice can you give that would improve his social skills and help him to bolster his self esteem?

Way to go!!! We have a son, who is 11, and he has struggled. His sister is 15 and has never struggled with school. That has made it even harder for him and for us. His issue is more ADD (without the hyperactivity). He is now on a Daytrana patch and is doing much better, but is still not where we want him to be academically. We are trying to be patient and we are helping him as much as we can, I take 80 mg of Strattera everyday and can’t even begin to tell you what a difference it has made in my life. I wish that I had been able to get help at a younger age. Thanks for telling your side of the story!

Where do I buy the book????!!!! I am the grandmother of a 14 year old ADHD wonderful boy who has struggled so educationally and otherwise until he (thankfully) found the Cottage School in Atlanta. I know this experience has saved this young man’s life. I look forward to reading your book and good for you for writing the book to help others!

we have a forter child seven years old ,he has a d h d he does things that are inaproperate , he doesnt know why he does these things.i can only wonder what this will do to the rest of his life.

When you sit in a classroom, how much of your time is spent really listening to what the teacher is saying. In other words, how often does you mind drift away from what is being taught and how do you get it back on track? What techniques do you use to stay focused.
Thanks,

I also have a freshman in college who was diagnosed with ADHD at the age of four. We had many trials through elementary and junior high - but we’ve made it - he was accepted at two different colleges (only applied to two). Thank you for writing a tale of your ADHD adventures (as I prefer to call them). There is a definite lack of knowledge about the condition. I had one junior high teacher - after giving my son three detentions in three days, tell me it had nothing to do with a medication adjustment - it was just my son’s disruptive behavior????? She had no clue about ADHD - even after the counselor and I explained it - she still was non-responsive.
Thank you for sharing your life!

Bravo to you Blake! You are an inspiration to all kids with ADD! My son too has ADD, and struggles each day. I feel it is the parents who are the best advocate for children with this disorder. They are the ones who have the patience each and every day to keep these kids afloat.
It is sad that we parents have to fight with educators to make them see that ADD is REAL!
A few years ago, my son’s 6th grade teacher,(who’s husband is a pediatrician), told me my son will never make it in the next year’s class. She didn’t believe in IEP’s, and told me that IEP’s aren’t fair to the ‘other kids in the class”. My son is now in a college-prep high school, making the honor roll!
Unfortunately, there are alot of ignorant people out there, who are still very ‘old fashion’ about teaching, or else they just don’t believe that ADD is a real thing.
Blake, you will help open doors for children who are in the same boat as you, and hopefully, open the eyes and ears of people who are very closed minded to this disorder.
Thank you Blake, your book will certainly help many!

I have finally become willing to try ADD drugs on my son when I realized that the condition was doing a number on his self-esteem. Since I have tried the drug, he has become different, and paranoid. The doctor says to try a new type. I am very torn on whether to continue trying different brand of drugs. I find his normal, quirky qualities (without meds) very endearing because I love him so much, but I know the world doesn’t accept him this way and tells him he is weird. Do successful ADD people do the drugs or not? What is your experience with them? Do you think they are the way to go? My child has a very high IQ, but is not doing well in school (7th grade) and just isn’t happy.

Blake
Thanks for the book - we’ll be sure and find it.

My 13 y.o son has ADHD. One of the hardest things for my wife and I to see is the alienation that seems to occur as a reult of behavior. Lack of friends, alienation by his peers and tangible scorn by some of his teachers. We’ve had coaching sessions with his teachers so this year we think we have a good group who are understanding, encouraging and are working with him better than in the past.

I have a question for you though - is there anything you’d suggest to parents to help our son increase his ability to make friends. We hear stories about real alienation by his peers due to some of our son’s in classroom conduct, acting out etc.

It’s hard to watch that but I’m not sure what we can do. We’ve tried having sleepovers with a couple friends he’s told us about, but, there’s little follow up later let alone reciprocation.

He’s a sweet sensitive young man at heart, but his behavior prevents some people from seeing through …

Thank you.

I am a 24 year old with ADHD and if it wasn’t for those in the education system who took the extra time for me to learn, I wouldn’t be where I am today. With unrelenting determination I graduated with a bachelors in Business on the Dean’s List and now work as an executive for a major media company. Not bad for anyone at age 24.

Kris -
I denied ADD/ADHD existed, too. I was diagnosed with ADD as a 13 year old. I thought it was a bunch of psycho-babble and refused to take ritalin. Even though the ritalin wasn’t the best solution for me, I have come to realize that so much of my difficulties in life had something to do with this ADD thing. Hindsight was 20/20 for me.

This ‘disorder’ is real. It’s so much more than being hyper or easily distracted. It has to do with impulse control, interpersonal relationships, social interactions, and simply just how the person’s brain works.

Since I didn’t doubted its validity, I resisted help. In addition, there was not nearly the amount of information available in the early 80’s (when I was diagnosed). As others have stated here, ADD/ADHD is different for girls. It is often missed because girls often don’t display the hyperactivity. I was a perfect example of this. Teachers didn’t know whether to place me in gifted programs or to offer learning disability help. I daydreamed, I didn’t get along with other students (was a complete social outcast), lost assignments, had the messiest desk, performed brilliantly on some tasks while failing miserably at others, and blurted out bizarre comments. Life would have been SO MUCH easier if i had known about other people like me and how they coped.

Just because ADD/ADHD has been misdiagnosed (I suspect in Kris’ case) for some children and mismanaged (’doping’ kids up) doesn’t make it less real for those dealing with it. Medication has helped some people cope and overcome, as well. One of the most frustrating things about having ADD has been that people don’t believe it even exists. Believe me, as much as I didn’t want to believe it existed, it is very real.

I look forward to reading Taylor’s book.

I leaped in my seat to see a young man write of his own experiences with this disorder! Good for you, Blake! I will be tracking down your book. My son is 18, finishing high school, successful but oh, it’s been an interesting road! He is ADD, not hyperactive. But he cannot sit still on the inside. He is intelligent, creative, full of life. And yes, he takes medication, a non-stimulant type. In the next year or two, we hope to go it without that, see how it goes. I am not convinced it’s a must, but we will see.

ADD/ADHD presents itself differently in different people. Just as no two people are the same, neither are two people with any condition identical. The disorder is real, and help is needed. Each person needs the help they need, not just the same as someone else. Parenting requires parents to know their kids, and get them the specific help they need. And a whole heck of a lot of perseverence to find what that is. We avoided medication for quite awhile, we saw several doctors, and I read a lot. It’s a maze of information with a whole lot of opinions and biases.

Bottom line for us: let’s help our son see success, know he is a person of value, able to go forward with the challenges of life. We have gotten him help and now it’s time for him to take the challenge himself.

Thanks for your book, Blake. All the best to you!

Good job Blake! http://dom.sanculi.com

I am 36 years old and grew up before ADHD was a disorder. As a young boy doctors suggested putting me on medicine but my parents refused. If you read all of the comments above all of the kids are very smart. The reason they are acting out is they are bored. They finish their work first and they get in trouble when they do not ahve anything to do. I set the dog house on fire and nearly killed myself as a 6 year old boy. Why, because it was fun to play with a lighter. My parents did not run to the doctor and ask him if I shoudl start taking drugs the tore my tail up.

I have a five year old little boy that is smart and very active and I am teaching him that there are consequences for his actions. He decided to build a wall in his room the other night and removed everything out of his closet and stacked it across the middle of his room. He thought it was funny and we thought it was ingenious to come up with stuff to build. But, he had to put it all back before he was allowed to do anything else.

When you take these young kids and teach them that when they have a problem they can go get drugs to fix the problem what do you think they are going to do when they grow up. They will be a DRUG ADDICT.

Discipline and rules is what it takes and not drugs. you take a child that was raised with the understanding that drugs fix all of your problems and you do not have to learn to deal with the things that life throws your way and then they become an “adult”, 18, and they get their drugs removed they start killing people and cannot help it.

My son is in second grade and has been diagnosed with ADHD. I would like to ask you, how you feel living with this disorder and how it has impacted your life positively or negatively?

Blake,

You rock! My soon to be 12 year old son has ADHD, and so far, the emphasis is only on the Distraction. I am look forward to reading about your experiences, and sharing your story with my son.

Good luck in your studies. Your parents must be so proud of you (I am, and I don’t even know you!)

QUESTION: DO YOU TAKE ANY MEDICATION FOR ADHD? WHAT’S YOUR OPINION ABOUT MEDICATION & SIDE EFFECTS?

Blake,

You rock!

My soon to be 12 year old son was diagnosed with ADHD (emphasis on the Distraction so far) in 4th grade. I can’t wait to share your story with him.

Good luck in your studies, your parents must be so proud of you (I am and I don’t even know you!)

I am 40yrs old. I have a son 9. Thank you Blake for your work. I didn’t find out until I was thru college that I had ADHD. A living hell for 20 years. My parents were told early on that their child needed to be checked out. Something was definitely wrong! My parents disagreed and suggested that it was the “not their child” but the teacher that had a problem. Little plug here for the teachers…can you imagine having 15-20 of us rugrats with ADHD. Educators need to be compensated in comparison to their value to our society. They spend more time than some of us do with OUR own kids.

I’d like to add that for parents with children of ADHD please please please be patient with your child. Get him/her help. If you don’t have it yourself you have no idea…NO IDEA…what that kid is going through. ADHD still haunts me today. I feel I have underachieved greatly. I have been on and off medication trying to control this stupid thing on my own. Funny irony is I go days lost in space when I’m on meds and realize I have something that will help me focus. My wife bought me a pill organizer to help Dad and son to remember to take their meds.

I still have my life ahead of me and I’m not going to let this thing beat me. It’s a good thing that people with ADHD are so bright. I don’t know what I would have done without my persistence.

ADHD, what a joke. What about the people who have had to live with this “disease” before it was even being diagnosed. People with ADHD should not be drugged so that they can live their life through a haze. They should be allowed to live their lives and then maybe one of us will become the next Bill Gates, or be able to find a way to fix our environment, or our economy, or one of the other million things that are ruining our world.

I must echo the sentiments of Kris. I too was diagnosed with ADD as a child and my mother would not have it. She would not drug her child, thank God. I acted out in a million different ways, setting fires, breaking things, etc. etc. I never achieved properly in school, but I always scored in the 90th percentile on tests. Ultimately, I learned to channel my energy into constructive things. I am now happy in my life, married, and well adjusted. I think that ADD/ADHD is real, but so over-diagnosed that we are drugging our little boys into oblivion. I ask every parent with an ADD/ADHD diagnosis to PLEASE consider alternatives like structured activity (sports, boy/girl scouts, etc.) before jumping to the drugs. In some cases there may be no other choice, but without definitive medical tests to diagnose, it is just your doctor’s opinion, and he or she is not infallible.

Blake,

Good For You! You don’t seem to let having ADHD get in your way of succeeding in life. What I hope to learn from your book is how to pass that determination down to my son, who is almost 11, and has ADHD. Medication helps him enormously. For people who believe that this condition should not be treated with medication, I say you have to do what is best for your child and your situation in life. We have had many misadventures because our son cannot control his impulses, including a trip to the ER. I don’t think anyone wants the Stepford Child–I just want him to be able to function in the world, with as few ER visits as possible!

Good luck, Blake! Thank you for this book. I will purchase it as soon as I can find it!

As an educator with 30 years of experience, I know that a teacher can make or break a child’s spirit, especially when that child has “issues” with behavior. What are some specific things that teachers did to help you succeed? On the flip side of that, what did teachers do that made things worse?
Parents who need resources to help their children understand what ADHD is should check out Free Spirit Publishing. Their book “The Survival Guide for Kids with ADD or ADHD” is an excellent resource for kids. Its a practical, kid-friendly book that helps them learn how to cope with the frustrations of these disorders.

When I grew up, ADHD was just called being a kid. Forcing our children to live life in a drug-induced haze only ruins the future for all of us. Maybe today’s parents should actually disapline their children instead of giving them medication or a “time out”.

Blake,
my brother has ADHD, but it’s really hard to control him he’s not on any medicine and it’s really hard for my parents to get him back on track.. I’m glad you wrote this book i will defently share it with my brother..

Thank you so much

I laughed out liud when I read this. I will definitely go out and read this book. It’s funny, people seem to think that when you have ADHD, youo cannot succeed in life. That is far from the truth. I am 20 years old and heading to medical school, but I have struggled with ADHD my whole life. I have taken many medications and tried several ways to force myself to concentrate. ADHD does not lower your intelligence, but it can affect your abbility to concentrate. People fail to realize that these are two very seperate things. I can remember having my mouth taped shut in fourth grade because I just HAD to talk to the kid next to me. Despite my struggles, I was able to graduate second in my class in high school

To Kris: Congratulations, you seem to have done well in life. Perhaps you do or do not have ADHD. It is tough to say because it is overdiagnosed. Only you can say whether you actually suffer from it. Unfortuantely, your ignorance to the reality of ADHD is exactly the reason why a teacher taped my mouth shut or why countless kids are told they will go nowhere in life. I will be the first to admit that children and teens need to eventually learn about their struggles and take resposibility for their actions, because it is not OK to continuosly disrupt class or eventually a job site. The reality of ADHD, however, makes it clear that adults and educators need to take a little extra time to give these kids the attention they need to learn to cope with their set back.

Brian - you have no clue. It’s not about discipline. All the discipline in the world didn’t stop my impulses. It’s a chemical imbalance in the body. Medication when taken has helped me tremendously and has helped my son to go from space cadet to a straight A student. I realize that not everyone is the same but for this Father and Son it has made life a lot more enjoyable.

What an accomplishment! COngratulations Blake! As a mother of a 15 year old son who was diagnosed by a very loving, and observant teacher in second grade, I know the many many hurdles you’ve faced in your quest. This teacher by the way is listed on his grade schools marquee outside as TEACHER OF THE YEAR!!! I can tell you as a parent that ADHD is not a joke, and that I’ve tried everything from changinig schools, to requesting different classes to special education services. The only thing that’s working for us right now is medication. Its not what I prefer but it gives him some control over his impulses, and it gives me some peace of mind. I will be sure to show him this article of your accomplishments! My prayer is that he too will one day be able to write or share his story of what this ordeal does to not only the patient but to the family as a whole. I love my son unconditionally, and whatever a medical professional suggestions that doesn’t kill him, can only help him. Its worked for us.

Blake, I was so excited to see this story. My 9 year old son has ADD and correlating behavior problems due to impulsiveness. He has done remarkable well in the past year because of great teachers and the right medications, but I know it will be a lifelong struggle. I am going to run out and get your book for him. You are an inspiration. Thank you.

I can understand why some people think ADHD is made up. It makes sense to write it off as bad parenting or lack of self-discipline, but I can say firsthand that it really extends far beyond that. There was a commercial for some drug treatment that showed a woman at a meeting, and her mind flipped through thoughts like rapidly changing radio stations, and that’s one of the best examples (albeit exaggerated) that I’ve seen regarding the thought patterns of ADHD. I agree that proper diet and exercise can reduce the extent of symptoms, as well as good parenting, which means promoting understanding of the condition. Do NOT let your child think that they can use ADHD as a cop-out for poor grades, but rather work with them to see what situations they function best in. I’m not sure what say about behavior, to be honest. When I was a teenager I couldn’t be stopped. I still have the symptoms of complete lack of focus, but I’ve learned to restrain my spontaneous behavior. And adderall helps. I know that it “helps” anybody who takes it, but if you could understand the stark contrast between my cognitive function with it and without it, you’d understand why people medicate. It is a powerful drug, though, and I’ve seen it become a source of depression for those who feel like they depend on a pill to function on the same level as others, which is why it makes me nervous to see children prescribed at such a young age. I’ve been taking it since I was around 17, I’m 21 now, and I never took it daily because aside from its gloriously potent focus-enhancing effects, it is a stimulant and carries a lot of side-effects, and I only took the relatively low dose of 15mg. I’ve seen my friends’ little siblings at doses of 30mg and higher, which is very worrying. Anyways, I thought I would just share some perspective as somebody with ADHD. I’m sick of people unfamiliar with it writing it off because they’re ill-informed.

ADD and ADHD are real. I can’t help but think they are cousins to autism. so why is there so much of it?

My ADD son struggled with the educational system his whole life but is doing just fine in the work world and socially because he/we focused on his strengths (and superior intelligence which these folks often have) and social skills and had some help from a great counselor.

Teachers and administrators are cut from a mold (personality preference) that tends toward routine, methodical, and more rigid behavior. Therefore they run schools that way (put your papers in a notebook, keep a daily journal, use note cards) which means trouble for any of the students who are not wired like that.

Schools and colleges SAY they accomodate but they DONT. They basically treat these students as problems and therefore school is hell for ADD and ADHD kids. I am so happy my son actually survived with his self esteem still in tact.

In 1984, my son was 3 years old when he was diagnosed with ADHD and was put on Ritalin. He started out on 10mg a day and increased to 60mg (Federal Legal Limit) a day over the next 15 years. YES…15 years he was on this drug.

He was one of those true Ritalin kids. We strongly believe that Ritalin was a god send for him. He was a good student and active in football, basketball and bowling. He was well liked and had lots of good friends…as long as he took his medication. For 15 years, I had to fight the school system in metro Atlanta, GA about their lack of information of the condition and the effectiveness of Ritalin for 15 years. There was a School Administrator tell him that he needs to make sure and take his “Good Boy” pill everyday so he can stay in school. Needless to say…she’s no longer in the school system. In high school, one of his advisor who was doing her thesis on ADHD for her doctorate, tried to direct him toward a Vocational Program instead of a College Prep and we never knew it until he was setting up his classes for his junior year. He had to go to summer school that summer and the following summer to make up for her mistake. She too is not longer in the school system. Nevertheless, he graduated with a 3.6 GPA and 5 more credits then required.

I won’t tell you he hasn’t had problems with tics, insomnia and other health issues, but all in all, he’s pretty healthy. His biggest complaint is that his hair started turning gray at 18.

Question for Taylor:
Do you or your parents have any special techniques I can try with my daughter to help her prepare for testing and memory recall? My daughter is 8 and takes Concerta. She has a very hard time with retention that stems from the AD part of her disorder. She just can’t recall the answer to 4×8…she has to hand write the problem to get the answer. Math is the hardest for her. The CRCT is coming up which is a timed test and she needs to memorize answers instead of hand figuring which cuts her time drastically. She has failed the pre-testing because she has to hand figure these problems. It’s very sad when she makes A’s and B’s all through the year, knows the work, how to get the answers - but this one test determines if she goes on to 4th grade simply because of the time issue and not the knowledge she has of the work. It’s very dishearting for her and me. I’m ready to try anything to help her.

My daughter is in Jr. High, and has ADHD & Dyslexia. She has been on medication since 1st grade for school. She is NOT hyper, or a discipline problem. Just impulsive. She has been tested many times by the school, no learning disabilities were found.

She struggles in math, reading, spelling, & writing. She has no social life, & no friends. She sometimes is a bit chatty off the meds. On the meds, she is not her “happy” perky self.

However, the meds appear to help her in school. She is unable to pass the TAKS, quizzes, & most tests. She is able to maintain A’s, B’s, & C’s in her classes with alot of hard work, & modifications. Her teachers all say she works very hard, is quiet, and always finishes first.

It’s heart breaking to see your child be friendless, and to be unable to master tests, no matter how hard she works. No matter how much tutoring, summer schooling, and one-on-one she gets, she can NOT pass the TAKS testing. If she studies 4 nights in a row for hours, she can pass a class test.

I hate medicating her, but it helps her concentrate & write better. I’m afraid that she will end up with the wrong group, or doing the wrong things just to gain acceptance. She wants friends so desperately, but is unable to keep them.

Questions: How can she have a social life, friends, and master tests? What else will help her? How can she keep her self confidence? What else can I do to help her?

My son was diagnosed with ADHD when he was in third grade - he now is in fifth grade. We thank God for his teacher for suggesting to us that he might be ADHD. He was struggling in math, talking and being disruptive in class. She even thought that he seemed depressed. We were so sad that our son who is so full of life and loves to joke was feeling so badly. But for my husband and I, the worst day was when he came home in tears because one of his ffriends was teasing him, loudly, about how far behind he was on a math journal. Since then, and with the help of Adderall XR he is now in the highest math class, reads at an eighth grade level, has many friends (which he always had) and is feeling much better about himself and his abilities. I cannot stress enough that no matter how you may feel about putting your child on medication - iit’s really not about you the parent, it’s about your child and as a parent you would do any thing to make sure that they are successful and happy. As the parent you want to be able to “fix” what ever is wrong. My son is not living in a “drug-induced haze” as Brian states. The medication helps him to stay focused during the school day and he isn’t being disruptive in class. It allows hime to be the student that he needs to be.

i would like to read your memoir. my son is 11 and he is adhd. he needs a friend i guess you could say. i feel like he might be able to read your book and it help him.
thanks.

To all the naysayers about medication … the ones who said the children we medicate are in a haze, please listen. My daughter has ADHD. She was diagnosed when she was four. My other daughter does not have ADHD. It is not a made up disease, it is not all about bad parenting, and there is no magic pill. Medication helps, but does not cure or completely treat. My daughter is far from in a haze when she takes her medication but it does take the “edge” off. She can concentrate, she can fit in, she can function. She’s still active, she’s still impulsive, she’s still herself, only toned down just a bit. Do you think I jumped at the chance to medicate her? Absolutely not. It was a very, very difficult decision for us to make, and one we continue to wrestle with. But ultimately it is a decision that we know is helping our daughter immensely.

I was very impressed with this article, because I am a adult living with ADHD and I know the hardship of living with this disability. I wasn’t diagnose until I was close to being 30, I was tested after my niece and nephew where diagnose at a young age. My niece has just the ADHD where my nephew is more like me ADHD with a mild case of autism.

Growing up in the 70’s and 80’s they tried to treat the symptoms and try to put different type of labels on me. I was treated for seizures (no specific name except for general), one doctor tried placing me in a special home, another kept me doped up, and one said I had a multiple personality disorder. I grew up thinking I was a defect and something majorly was wrong with me. Now I know nothing is wrong with me, I just have different ways of learning, thinking, and doing things.

Today there is a lot of kids being treated for a disability such as ADHD and kept highly medicated, which I don’t agree with. There is a great majority that was misdiagnosed and didn’t need this treatment because they were being a kid and kids can be so wonderful and mischievous. A lot of diagnoses can be broad and over lap each other, which can lead to misdiagnoses or it is mimicking another ailment. But finding the right doctor and treatment plan that works for you is wonderful.

If you have a diagnoses of any kind of medical problem don’t let that diagnoses define you instead embrace life and step up and define the diagnose of “I CAN DO IT” not “I CAN’T because I have a disability”.

At the age of 34, I am finishing 2 degrees I started back when I was 20. I am now down to working one job and not multiple jobs. My biggest dream is to have or adopt kids one day soon. I know the chances for me having a ADHD child are great.

Me Katrina

Some of us parents do a lot of time-outs and the child has a difficult time just sitting for one minute. My child is now a young adult and never wanted to take medication and still has hard time functioning. I do think in some cases medication is really necessary and there are a lot of parents that really research information before they medicate a child.

I will be reading this publication! I have a daughter who was diagnosed with ADHD the day before her senior year in high school. While my daughter was placed in gifted classes throughout her school years, she struggled to maintain a “C” average in her core classes. While she never got in trouble she struggled and no one ever suspected she had ADHD. I have tried researching this subject for adolscent females I have found very little.

My daughter is now struggling to get to college based on previous years grades. However, now medicated she is maintaining an “A” average in her senior year of high school and a 3.34 GPA in her dual enrollment classes at the local community college. There is hope!

For those who think children diagnosed with ADHD have lousy parents, shame on you: ADHD is real like the sun in the sky. I just wish the public school system would wake up to the enormous potential of these kids and help them instead of sending them to the principal’s office. They are faster, they are smarter, and most teachers can’t cope with that. My 15-year old boy has gone through bad experiences (in public and privates schools) with teachers - and principals - that were literally ignorant on the subject, full of prejudice. (One principal told me she would give my son “2 weeks to change his behavior”).I got tired of the judgemental dirty looks of all of them. The 4th grade teacher, who refused his entry into the GATE program, ended up seeing him been awarded the President’s Award for Academic Achievement. He took all Honors classes in middle school (all 12 of them), and despite struggles with AP classes now, he insists on keep taking them. He plays the piano without having study it and could match Schubert that he had listened to the right music sheet on a book. On a real flight similator at 10 years of age, he made a real pilot sweat for piloting a bomber in and out of the Grand Canyon, doing 360s, without ever crashing it. According to the pilot, he had never seen a kid do that before. So … who needs GATE ? Teachers, educate yourselves. Open up your minds and your hearts. And definitely stop the dirty looks to parents that are trying their best. Blake, keep writing. Do not stop. Other kids need you and your example.

ADHD is unfortunately misdiagnosed to the point where one has to wonder if it exists as a real condition. When you consider how it is diagnosed - simply by observation by a “trained mental health expert” - you cannot avoid that much of what we call ADHD is simply the bad fruit of poor parenting.

Consider also that drugs used to treat this pseudo-malady are having alternate effects. Namely, a study was done a few years ago showing that teens who took Ritalin and like drugs were more suicidal than other teens.

Sorry, but this is just another made-up diagnosis for parents looking for excuses for their children’s behavior or their poor parenting. This guy has “overcome” this “sickness” and is now in college. Well, good job at maturing and taking responsibility for your actions. Everyone wants something to blame poor behavior on. Instead of drugs, I’d be curious to know how you were disciplined? And why does childhood mischief have to be diagnosed in the first place? Are we supposed to buy into these other posts claiming multiple family members have this “condition?” I bet mom and dad are joining the hordes of “depressed” people taking drugs now as well. I wish you well Blake, as I do the other parents and young people who have responded. But don’t accept a label and a prescription. We’ve become much too quick to point fingers and pop pills.

It’s best to make everyone stand in line. People with different personalities, have to have disorders? Some kids may require medication, but that is rare. Thank goodness for modern science, now parents won’t have to actually work harder and bad parents wont have to worry they can just put their kids on drugs…

The school system is flawed- it doesn’t work for many children. Instead of fixing the system lets ‘fix’ the people in the system. Many kids require different learning techniques, some get bored easily because they are smarter than most.

I am “ADD”, 47 and female - With all the new diagnoses coming along, pretty soon we’ll outnumber all the boring, plodding uncreative “normals”.
I took the drugs for a while. I couldn’t concentrate on my mind-numbing job. Changed positions to something that requires an inquiring, mulit-tasking mind. No longer need or want the drugs that made me miserable and paranoid.
For the parents - if your kid isn’t interested or stimulated by what and/or the way he/she is learning in school, find what works, don’t give up. (KayP’s first para) Don’t look at ADD/ADHD as a disablity or disorder. Look at it as a different way of experiencing the world. Most of us are extremely intelligent. (186 IQ here) I can honestly say I get frustrated with people that can’t keep up with my thought processes. Takes them hours to get to where I was 2 minutes into a topic.
Brian - I had more discipline and rules than most kids - made me extremely defiant and sneaky which led to even more “adventures” when I escaped the house.
Find out what interests your child, base the learning experiences on that. Encouragement and praise for successes do far more for your child’s self-esteem than disappointment and punishment. Techniques to deal with a wandering, excitable mind will be far more useful than any ritalin deriviative or grounding for months. I can’t wait to read Blake’s book to see what helps him along in the world.

My son has ADHD, where can I buy your book?

My son is just turning 17. He does not have ADHD although his behavior in middle school certainly suggested that diagnosis. He had poor impulse control and was disruptive in class; he was clearly very bright but “not working up to his potential”. He had friends, though, loads of them and did not display this behavior at home. We were thoroughly confused. Comprehensive testing showed that, while not ADD or ADHD, he did have a Learning Disability — slow processing speed and some other executive functioning problems. He would NEVER be able to do arithmetic operations no matter how hard he tried. He would never be able to write at length longhand or to do well on a timed test. Without a clear diagnosis, he did not qualify for an IEP but he did (and does) qualify for “accommodations” under the Americans with Disabilities Act. Immediately, life changed at school: he was allowed to use a calculator for all computation, was allowed to use a note taking device at school and a word processor for homework and tests, and was granted extra time on exams.Within a month the disruptive behavior stopped. Turnus out, he was being driven round the bend at school by his own inability to succeed no matter how hard he worked. He knew he worked as hard as the other kids, he knew he was as braight as his peers — but when he worked and worked and worked, often nothing came of it. His frustration and humiliation was causing the acting out. Once he had the accommodations in place and had learned to accept his need for them, the world opened up for him. He could work hard and succeed. Now, for a child with ADHD, life is harder than for my son. ADHD does not turn itself off when a child leaves school. ADHD is on all the time. If you suspect or your child’s teacher or doctor suspects that your child has ADD or ADHD, do NOT allow your kid’s doctor to put him or her on meds because of observed behavior. Insist on having the child tested by a psychologist trained and licensed to do a full Psyvho-educational work-up. (Don’t be put off by the bother — the test itself is a long process, 6-8 hours ,and iyou may need to fight for your school system to have the testing done. But legally, they must provide this testing and any accommodations the testing suggests . If the diagnosis is ADHD, then consider the alternatives. Medication is one and may be the one you choose but perhaps careful behavior training may help enough to keep the child off meds with their associated side-effects, but “disciplining “your kids (i.e. I think that means punishing them) to “to get them to concentrate” or to stop being messy or to stop blurting things out in school or church is not the solution, ever. You would not put a child with a broken leg in time out for hobbling instead of sprinting, nor spank a blind child for failing to hit the bull’s eye in target practice. Learning Disabilities, whether ADHD or not, need to be attended to. They are a fact of your child’s life. Working with a good psychologist and insisting on proper testing can help to avoid medicating a child who is merely “spirited” or a child like my son whose disability is caused by a “wiring problems” in the brain but not the kind that can behelped with meds. Diagnosis and then acceptance of the diagnosed condition is the key to success –for Blake, for my son — for your child, too, I hope.

I have a 12 year old son with adhd and he is always being dastructive and has such a hard time making friends and keeping them it breaks my heart to see his low self esteam and he has such a big heart. But he lacks social skills makes him the one to pick on in school and bully or the class clown.. have taken our son to so many doctors and psychiatrists. it just seems like everyone wants to push med’s which only seems to work for a few months..

When did you understand that you had ADHD? Did meds help? What was the best teacher response to your ADHD and what was the worst? Do you have any LDs?
What do you think of LEARNING OUTSIDE THE LINES?

I’d love to talk to you … about doing an ADHD movie - see my website - done some with Ned Hallowell…can we chat?
thanks

I have a Son with ADHD. I was diagnosed as a child 40 years ago with the same. He is now on focalin which has helped his impulsivity and grades greatly. It is night and day. I can hold a conversation with him in the morning after the meds but not before. As to those who believe this is just another form of drugging your child - I can assure you that sooner or later we learn to cope and among those coping strategies are drugs - from a store or from your best friend. I chose the road more traveled and Papa was definitely the proverbial “Rolling Stone.” I’d prefer my Son deals with this in a positive fashion. I am not saying that all will follow the path I chose but I can tell you this: There are church basements throughout the country filled with people who tried to manage this on their own or whose parents thought they were too smart. It is nice to be trite and “Just say no.” Think of whom you are saying that too….

Blake - If you could go back to your elementary, jr high, and high school teachers - what would you say to them about how to handle you? Please share anything helpful that they did do.

Brian, I can’t wait to read your book. My son is 16 yrs. old and was diagnosed with ADHD when he was in 3rd grade. I have taken several classes on how to deal with him in a positive way, because everything I and everyone else seemed to say to him was negative. He has no self-esteem because of this. I can’t tell you how many times I have tried to figure out what was going on in my son’s head. I would tell him ” just sit in class, do your work and at least look like you are listening”. That sounds pretty simple to me but to him it was impossible. He has countless referrals and suspensions because of his behavior in school. He too lacks in friends and will latch on to anyone that will give him the time of day…Usually kids that are not a good influence on him. He has just started taking medication and already his teachers have noticed a difference in him. My son has such a wonderful personality and he’s smart, and creative. Hopefully now everyone will see what I see!

I have a son who has ADHD with cognitive impairments as well. He is an EMI class and with the assistance of such great people in his life, he is succeeding. He is now 13 years old and I am very proud of him. He struggles with focusing on his school work, but if you keep encouraging him to move forward he does it. I have high expections for him and I know he will succeed. He doesn’t get into any trouble, but is allot of times pushed around by other kids his age because of his kindhearted spirit. My suggestion to all parents with children with ADHD, never give up and continue to move on in life. Expect nothing but the best from him or her. Again, I am a very proud single parent of a child with ADHD and many thanks to everything in his life and provides such excellent service to him.

I grew up with Dyslexia and let me say it’s a hard road. They wanted to take me off there little list after high school of having it stating that my Dyslexia went “away”. IT NEVER goes away. It’s something you have to live with in your life every day.

I had a teacher in 5th grade that actually got me into loving to read. It helped me so much and I read everything I could find. She loved her job and kids. She paid attention to kids like me and made sure we wouldn’t be left behind. We need more teachers like this.

I actually gave up in the middle of high school. I was sick of studying for hours to get a C or B on a exam and others would just study for a hour to get a A. I couldn’t except it and figured I was just too “stupid” to make it. My grades slipped and my teachers called my parents in. They gave me the right “kick in the butt” to get me back.

When I was in college there was a department just there to help people with Dyslexia, ADD, ADHD, etc. They were a good support team and fought for you against professors that didn’t want to hear about your “problems”. Without them I more then likely wouldn’t be where I am. I hugged each worker in that office when I graduated and thanked them.

It’s good that books like Blakes are out there. It’s a hard road for both the child and parents. My parents for years blamed themselves and finally got over it. They are proud of me.

Dear Blake & Those reading this blog,

It was insinuated by my son’s third grade teacher as early as third grade that my son was ADD. The problem with us accepting that it might be true was the way in which the teacher presented it to us. We knew our son was struggling in her class and there seemed to be a personality conflict with the two of them. The teacher who also has a son with ADD refused to implement any effective strategies to help our son in her classroom. It seemed to us that she just wanted us to pop a pill in his mouth and be done with it. This is our eldest child and I must admit all the negative publicity about ADD left us not wanting to believe that our son had ADHD. As a result his principal suggested we put him in counseling, which we did. Unfortunately for 2 1/2 years we allowed him to see a therapist who further led us to believe that ADD did not exist and that by us medicating him he would have more issues later in life. She continued to lead our son and us to believe that I his mother was the problem. After years of troublesome behavior and much arguing in our home life our son started talking about suicide at the age of 11, he is still 11. Therapy with this Psychologist was not working (can anyone guess why?), we finally took our son for evaluation and were told that he was ADHD/inattentive type and that without medication school and life would continue to be a struggle. This is our son’s first year in middle school. I too remember this being my hardest year of school, mainly socially. Our son has been on medication for four months and in therapy with a new counselor. Our life has changed. Our son who seemed like he hated us, me especially comes to me for daily hugs, his last mid-term report card had 4-A’s, 3-B’s and a C in typing of all classes. He loves band, plays the trumpet and thoroughly enjoys jazz band which he stays after school for. He has a few friends at school, mainly in band. He loves his church youth group where he also has friends. He does not have a ton of friends but I always stress the importance of good, true friends not mass quantities.

We still have some ups and downs but that’s life.

All I can say is that I believe that medication has made incredible positive changes in him and our home life. Believe in your children, never give up on them. Do everything you can to help them reach their full potential, love them, sacrifice some of your time for them and have faith in the Lord.

Mother who loves her boys

Kudos to you, Blake, and to your school for incorporating your book into their curriculum. I’d love to hear your thoughts on this one major misconception:

1. ADHD is a disorder that folks can laugh about and think of as only being attachd to hyperactive children.

2. ADHD isn’t a health problem. It’s just about getting organized and just not letting things bother you and being more disciplined and focused.

People who don’t suffer from the disorder have no idea how emotionally and mentally grueling it can be. It affects every aspect of one’s life including, wreaking havoc on our self esteem, our ability to hold down a job, and even our ability to maintain relationships. There are so many more facets to this disorder than just hyperactivity.
And it can be a very serious disorder to treat and deal with as a patient. Finally, it’s not something we, as sufferers, can just train ourselves NOT to do. It’s a valid medical condition that requires treatment with both medication and therapy. And it is certainly nothing to laugh at.

I have a friend with ADHD and all I have to say is you rock!

As a mom of a 12 yr old ADHD son, I was very reluctant to put in on medicine and did not do so until he was failing open book quizzes in the 4th grade even though he is an extremely intelligent child.
I keep the dosage on his medication as low as possible. He is doing much better in school now. It’s still difficult for him and my husband and I as he doesn’t seem to want to put the extra effort that he should into his school work.
My question for Blake is : How did you overcome this obstacle? We want him to care about doing well in school and learning. He just doesn’t seem to care about it as much as we do.

Brian- It’s very easy to speak about something you don’t have any first-hand knowledge about. I’m a 26 year old woman and I’ve had two friends approach me about this. They were both investigating ADHD in themselves and when they were reading, they said it described me perfectly. I’ve been doing my own research and it makes so much sense now, that my whole life I’ve been dealing with this. I haven’t started medication yet, but my friend has and she swears that it has changed her life. She is a 29 year old successful woman, but we both have been having major struggles at work that just didn’t make sense to us. We’re both college-educated, but we see now that we’ve been able to get away with a lot of this behavior or just get around it, but it has truly affected our lives. She is not in a haze, but is accomplishing more than she ever thought possible. It affects your self-esteem. You get to a point where you know in your heart that you’re not lazy, crazy or stupid, but you start to believe it, because you just can’t accomplish what you should be. I’m not quick to jump at medication as the first answer, but sometimes it truly is the best option. That haze you’re talking about…that’s what I’m feeling now and I’m not on medication. It’s so powerful that it’s truly putting my job in jeopardy. I’m looking forward to clearer days. But something that we’ve both understood while going through this is that you can’t really talk about it with people. Because if they haven’t gone through it personally or aren’t a parent with a child who’s struggling, they can’t understand. They treat you as if you’re stupid, lazy or just making excuses and that hurts just as much. It’s awful to have to keep it a secret, especially when you feel like it explains sooooo much and that if people only knew, they’d understand. But they don’t…So Brian, I know that you can’t possibly understand, because you’re not dealing with it….but try to be compassionate. These things aren’t just because of a lack of discipline or a phase….these are real and truly affect your life.

Looking forward to reading your book. I have a 14yr old son who was diagnosed with ADD when he was 9 years old. We put him on Concerta and he was doing fairly well. But he was not his fun loving self and was stand offish with other kids. Therefore he did not make friends. Recently he has complained that he has never liked the way Concerta made him feel , so we took him to the doctor to see if there was anything new on the market. There is a new drug called Vyvanse. My son started it two days ago. For the first time he has felt relaxed and wanted to interact with other boys. His appetite has improved in just 2 days and he is not as fearful. He says he likes this drug much better. It is also alot easier to swallow and it can be taken apart and put in water to drink if your child has a problem in swallowing. Have you done any research on any of the drugs used and what ones do you think are the better?

inquiring minds need good foods .i beleive 3 fisn oil capsules daily can stimulate naturally to help focus and delete foods that enhance reaction caffine sugars chocolate chemical additives etc. i.can relate tothese struggles but why drug brilliance out of todays society unless there are major mental isuses. channel your energy into your dream not societys see how these humans excell above there peers in the next decade

Okay, enough about ADD drugs - especially by people who know not of what they speak. Would you tell a child with diabetes that they have to find someway to manage their disease without their daily dose of insulin? Would you expect a child with leukemia to “get over it” without benefit of life-saving though difficult chemotherapy? ADD has nothing to do with self-will or appropriate discipline. It is a MEDICAL disorder of brain function. Yes, ADHD is probably over-diagnosed in children these days ( just as I am starting to wonder if autism is being incorrectly over-diagnosed in our politically correct society which is uncomfortable with the old diagnosis labled “mental retardation” because well-intentioned doctors are often pressured into a diagnosis by parents who lack good parenting skills or are too busy with their own lives, and are overwhelmed by a kid “being a kid” and demand that the doctor prescribe a pill to magically cure the problem for them. We are also so obsessed with our two-income lifestyles that we expect our teachers to raise our children for us while at the same time achieving unrealistic academic standards, and so they get so overwhelmed by the normal excesses of children that they have to complain about behavior problems to the parents or the school psychologist. And that’s a fact. Children who are ACCURATELY diagnosed with ADHD through proper testing and who receive treatment by a competant doctor under the guidance of loving, nurturing and FOCUSED parents do NOT walk around in a “drug-induced haze”. They simply function like normal children - which is what we do call “just being a kid.” They get to be “just a kid”, instead of an unhappy social misfit who doesn’t understand why they don’t fit in like normal kids. And medication is just one part of effective treatment, never meant to stand alone. Many of us with ADD can eventually function quite well without medication - but the medication is a God send when you are trying to learn all the modifications you have to make to your “impulsive” behaviors in order to live and succeed like a normal person and you need all the focus and “executive function” skills you can muster from your scattered, disorganized brain. Medication is like the difference between stumbling around in the natural dark of night - and just simply turning on an artificial light source to see where you are going. Hopefully Blake’s book with finally give the unenlightened world some much-needed insight into the frustrating and unhappy world of children who really do have ADHD.

My daughter is 13 and is an emotional wreck and she was said to have ADHD, I was wondering what types of medications worked best for you.

Thanks

Oh, I forgot. The 1st Psychologist told my son he would be living in a fog and feel weird on the medication. We had much to undo after this Psychologist. We promised our son that if he did not like the way it made him feel or didn’t see any positive side effects we would try something different. He said he feels a bit tired and odd for the first 30 minutes and he can tell when the medication is wearing off.

He said that the positives out-weigh any negative. His self esteem has improved as well as those grades I was talking about.

Mom who loves her boys.

I have a 9 year old son that has ADHD. I am amazed at how many similar stories , to what I feel as a parent and to what happens to an ADHD child, are out there. My suggestion to parents would be to read as many articles and books as possible. Yahoo news has a bullentin board/ discussion group you can sign up on to get leads and ideas. There is a tremendous amount of opinions and so called “cures”. I have spent hundreds of hours researching and it can be very overwhelming. The things that have helped me keep my child off the medication thus far have been therapy call EEG and identifing food allergies through blood testing throught the method IgG ELSIA. The biggest hurdle that you have to get past is that ADHD is a condition that has a cure. Because it isn’t a condition or a desease or disability. It is a disposition of a particular group of human beings. What you need to give your child are the tools to succeed, to make and develope relationships, to learn social cues and how to regulate thier impulses.

Brava ADD Nurse!!!!!

I am a mother of a 12 year old who has ADHD and I refuse meds. I have also worked in the Pysch world for a long time and saw many children who had ADHD and too meds and some who did not. As you can see I do not have my child on any meds do to this and feel like witth a little love and understanding along with the others in his life he might just turn out to be the next President. PLEASE do not get me wrong we have good and bad BUT we learn form them just like him. BUT I WILL NOT PUT MY CHILD ON MEDS TO HELP THE TEACHERS. I have had many meetings were they think that meds are great because the child just sits there and does nothing and they are great to handle. PLEASE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

My son was diagnosed with ADHD at five years old. My younger son does NOT have ADHD; as a Mother who raised these children, I can assure everyone that ADHD made a huge impact on our lives as a family. Since my son was too intelligent to be considered “learning disabled,” he was classfied as “behavior disorder” in our county school system in order to get the vital special education classes that he needed. You can imagine how he was treated by faculty as he was growing up. I dreaded the IEP meetings at school because I was also treated badly by faculty as the parent of a “behavior disorder” student. Long story short, he ended dropping out of school, became a ward of the state because he refused to attend school and was locked up in various group homes and state facilities from age 15 to age 18. He still stuggles today with ADHD as an adult.

Blake, I plan to read your book and then pass it on to my son. Thank you for bringing attention to this REAL disorder.

Refreshing! I raised two wonderful boys one of whom has ADHD, the other ADD. Now 27 and 20, both continue with determination to achieve personal success and happiness. One is an IT major, the other a Political Science/Environmental Studies major.

Definitely overachievers. Definitely lucky for their special styles.
20 years ago, it was a struggle to find support and information. Determination paid off and we are definitely lucky for the gift they are.

Wish you all the best.
Thank you.

I applaud anyone who writes a book to help others with ADD/ADHD or to enlighten those who live or work around those who are afflicted with it. I myself, now 45, deal with this struggle that is invisible to the untrained person (and even some with medical degrees). It is something that has held me back in more ways than would fit into one book. From work to relationships and even health, I am tagging along behind the pack. However, there are some attributes to many of us with ADD/ADHD that I would not trade for anything- well, almost anything.

I have just ordered the book, and I am looking forward to reading it. I have often wondered how best to help my son, and I’m hoping this will give some insight. I’m also hoping it will help me understand what he thinks and feels. Unfortunately, I feel so woefully inadequate when it comes to being his mother. I see so much potential in him, but I don’t know how to bring it out. After resisting it for many years, I have finally put him on medication. I have seen some improvement, but there are still lots of behavioral issues. However, the thing that hurts me the most is watching his social isolation. I hurt for him.

Good luck to you and your family, Blake. I am so happy that you are doing well. It gives me great hope.

Bravo Blake! I hope this will help many parents to understand what ADHD is really about.
My spouse and I both have ADHD. It’s true that women and men don’t go through it the same way. My husband was diagnosed in his late 20s and needs medication to be able to perform but it works, seriously! Not only is he starting projects now but he finishes them. As for me, I’ve been diagnosed at a really young age and worked on my strengths to find a career where I feel comfortable and not looked at as If I’m a weirdo. I have really strict parents who pushed us to perform in school but they realised early that something was wrong and they worked really hard with me to help get where I am today. Instead of thinking that your kid is lazy or troubled, you have to listen to them and help them figure out what’s going on. It’s not just a question of medication, although it works it’s not enough, you need to help them find ways that work for them to go forward.
Good luck with all your future projects Blake! One question for you, how do you deal with your studies, knowing what you know now?

I want to read your book. My son has a learning disability(now 18 its a processing thing), and probably has ADHD-never tested him specifically for that. He has had to work his tush off and has struggled immensly though is academic career. Because of special ed and private school s that have dealt with his strenghths and weakness he will graduate from High School in May. But he now thinks that he is stupid and hangs with a very rought crowd and toys with risky behavior. He has a B average, is captain of his basketball team, is into music heavily, makes friends easily and has gone down to New Orleans to volunteer many times. But does not want to go to college because he know’s he’ll “fail”. He’s applied to some colleges because I pushed him to but wants to just work and “hang” (with is dead end friends).

My daughter 12) has ADHD and took Adderol and Centurion (whatever) her grades improved dramatically….but she was a
zombie and hated it. It was awful. I’d rather her get ok grades
than be so unhappy so she if off them. She has to work longer
and harder but it’s worth it to her. She goes up and down-but mostly
up. And she is her funny, happy, outasight little girl. Wouldn’t change
her or my son.

I just don’t want them to suffer….but they have to one way or another…
and I prefer as both my children do, naturally. Because nothing in
life comes with an easy fix.

I agree with ADD nurse. I am the father of two wonderful young boys. My 8-year-old son has been living with ADHD since age 4 and I’ve got to be honest here - I am so sick and tired of people who say, “get over it. They’re just a hyper kid. Don’t drug your children. ADHD is not real. Blah blah blah.” I want to make something perfectly clear. ADHD is a VERY real condition. My 5-year-son is a hyperactive kid, but he’s obviously not ADHD. He’s just a boy. There is a distinct difference between run-of-the-mill hyperactivity and attention deficit hyperactivity disorder. The medication I give my ADHD child does not put him in a daze or turn him into a zombie. It simply allows his brain to process stimuli a little better before acting (i.e.: thinking about looking for cars before running out into the street chasing a ball). Without his medication, he may very well go after that ball without noticing the car barreling down the street toward him. If you have a ADHD child, you know exactly what I’m talking about.

A few ’specific’ rebuttals:

Scott: You say “these kids are overactive there is nothing wrong with that.” Right away, it’s obvious you’ve never been close to a child with ADHD. Are there children being misdiagnosed with the illness? I’m certain there are, but for those of us dealing with the real deal every day of our laughs, you’re comments are pointless and laughable.

John: What you describe as symptoms of ADHD (being bored, getting work done before everyone else) do not ring of ADHD to me. My son, without his medication, is practically incapable of doing schoolwork at all. Why? Because his mind is unable to focus on any one thing for an extended period of time. With his meds, he can ‘dial in’ and actually keep up with the rest of his class. I find your assertion that treating my son’s illness with medication will make him a drug addict terribly offensive. My son also takes medication for his asthma. Should I discontinue that line of treatment as well?

Brian: When you share your opinion on a topic, you should have some knowledge regarding said topic. Otherwise, you come across looking like an uneducated buffoon. But, hey guy, thanks for the wonderful parenting advice. Disciplining my children? Why, I never thought of that! I’ll have to give that a try. Thanks.

I’m curious. I don’t have ADHD (at least I don’t think I do) but going through so much schooling myself, I am still having a hard time sitting down to write an essay for class, much less a “memoir.” Am I not defining ADHD correctly then?

ADHD…what a terrible diagnosis, and by that I mean it should not be made. These kids are overactive there is nothing wrong with that. Why do we medicate everything in this country. If you are just outside what society’s normal is than we feel like we need to change you and typically not by talking about it. Instead we say “here’s a pill…you’ll be more like the rest of us miserable people tomorrow” What a great idea! Let people be themselves. Let people live the lives they want. We don’t want people taking illegal “mind-altering” drugs so why do we prescribe so many legal “mind altering” drugs!

John, and others who are skeptical of ADHD; my 7 year old son was diagnosed a year ago. The difference between a child such as John describes (and I know, I have a 5 year old like this little guy) and my 7 year old is marked and obvious to those who know them.

This scenario; “He decided to build a wall in his room the other night and removed everything out of his closet and stacked it across the middle of his room. He thought it was funny and we thought it was ingenious to come up with stuff to build. But, he had to put it all back before he was allowed to do anything else.’; is something typical of my 5 year old. No problem, no issue, that is great! When my 5 year old knows he has to do something he may not like it, but he does it.

With my 7 year old ADHD son, he would build the wall, but unless I am there reminding him to put the stuff back, he would pick up pieces and build something else, play with the stuff he was supposed to put away, and just not stay on task. And this child is NOT defiant, wilful, undisciplined, or unwilling to co-operate. His kindergarten teacher put it best; “It isn’t that he doesn’t want to sit still and finish his tasks, it’s that he can’t”. On a low dose of Ritalin, my 7 year old is a lively, spirited, imaginative, but much more focused child. NOW we can work with him on learning control so he can function better without medication too.

Every kid deserves the chance to reach their potential, whatever that may be. If my son needs Ritalin to be able to focus enough to learn how to succeed in life (ie. have a decent job, stay out of jail, have friends), then what kind of a mom am I to deny him that?

And yes, I am thrilled that a young man has written about his experiences with ADHD. I will definitely be looking up Blake’s book.

My son is ADHD at school they dont seem to help much every time something happens they blame him. Did this type of problem happend to you as well? My son looses his temper very easily as too is this part of having ADHD?

Excellent job Blake. I plan to get your book and give it to my 16 y.o. son who has ADHD. We were lucky, it runs in my family and we were able to identify it and put in both behavioral and academic supports for Matt from a young age. He is also someone who responds very well to medication. Medication is an appropriate part of the treatment as this is a neurological chemical issue. I want to stress though that medication is only part of the solution and may not work for all. The family needs to work with the child as soon as possible to give the behavioral and academic help to help your child succeed. Blake’s comment about not having friends as a child reflects a real problem these children can have. Kids with ADHD often miss the social cues and lessons that other children learn and need extra help to learn how to be a good friend and deal with frustrations. My son overwhelmed other children at times. We worked with him in a very supportive, behavioral manner to help him catch up on those social cues. We kept play dates to only one or two friends at a time and left social situations when he began to get overwhelmed before he had a hard time. We role played all the time with him about how to handle situations. If you make it a game, kids love it and l